As I'm sure most 20-somethings reading this (and those who've been 20-something) know -- it's a weird, awkward, tough and altogether fantastically enviable age. Fantastic because you have the freedom to design your life, tough because that luxury comes with a rather sizable and often enigmatic caveat, figuring out the elusive question that plagues us...wait, what do I want to DO with my life???
Prior to China literally falling into my lap (or standing in front of me in a bar line, rather) I was approximately 3 years out of college, smack dab in the middle of my quarter-life, and pretty much clueless as to what I wanted to really do, be, become, etc, etc, etc. Like the bulk of my peers I had been a part of corporate America since graduation and was just kind of... floating, biding my time, doing the expected, responsible thing until what I should be doing, what I'm passionate about, showed itself. Sure, I felt lucky enough to have a job (or that's how my parents told me I should feel) but I was constantly searching for something, whatever it was, whatever came next.
I'm no psychologist but I could write a book on my generation. Subject being, why we are the way we are. I know where this feeling of always wanting the best, never being fully content comes from. And here it is, brace yourself. We've been told since before we could even comprehend what it meant that we were the smartest, the most talented and the best looking to boot, children that ever existed... basically we (babies of the eighties) could do no wrong. In my case, you can't fault my parents and grandparents for that because, well, it's TRUE (right Mom, Dad, Grammy???) but we were never told "no", never told "you can't do that" or "that's not possible." Quite the opposite actually, we were told we could do and be WHATEVER we wanted, the world was our oyster, nothing short of the moon was out of reach, and heck not even that, because we were all well beyond gifted enough to become astronauts, right?
Thus here we are, 25 year-old, self-entitled, never fully satisfied, perfection-seeking "adults." Not that this is entirely a bad a thing, we've got elevated self-confidence for days, so don't feel too bad for us :)
This leads me to the point of my post. After a month and a half in Shanghai and not quite ready (or dare I say, even close to ready) to jump back into full-time work what with language lessons, cooking classes, volunteering and traveling, I still needed to do something to feel... normal. To have responsibilities outside of becoming a premature lady of leisure ("thai thai" as they've been coined here in China). Thus, I've started to think of China as my own little land of opportunity, minus the stop in Ellis Island. Since I've been ready for more than awhile to explore alternative career paths, why not here? Why not now? Why not reinvent myself in China? I can do anything here. So...
Over the past two weeks I've been a princess at a 2 year-olds birthday party, (only in China, pictures to come), a clothing fit-model (5 foot almost 8 inch blondes are a dime a dozen in America, in China we're hot commodities), participated in a photo shoot for a Netherlands based clothing company (eat your heart out Gisele) and explored the idea of preschool teaching. Yes, all.over.the.map. Oh, and I've made moves to position myself to get back into my former career in a few months if I so choose (or until Anthony forces me too, whichever comes first).
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| Like this, only BETTER And yes, I got paid for what follows...          Until next time, xoxo, Jess |
